Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
