There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
