I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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