i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
