Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
