Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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