We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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