my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
