Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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