We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He felt like a one man threesome
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
My vagina just clenched in fear
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
