I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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