that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
