it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize