I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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