I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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