Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize