Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
