He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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