question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Come share oat with me in your robe
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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