I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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