he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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