The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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