I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
