last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
