that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
