I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
