Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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