im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
