So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
