Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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