just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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