A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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