it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
