I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
