I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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