Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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