Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This is classic penis vs brain.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
