Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
