ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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