So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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