no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
