also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
