Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
