Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
