Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
