so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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