also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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