Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
