thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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