Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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