You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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