and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
