drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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