and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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