I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
