you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I cut my penus on the lid.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
