So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
