it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
