The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
