I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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