Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize