is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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