i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
