Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize