Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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