i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize