I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
