I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
